broken toy

"Sometimes I feel too much, feel like I’m going to explode. All of me, all of what is inside of me, anger sadness confusion pain insecurity fear loneliness, heart soul consciousness, whatever words for some of what is inside me there are no words to describe, it swirls, it races, it taunts, it moves to the surface and pushes pushes, all of it pushes. I feel like I’m going to explode. I scream. At the top of my lungs. Long and hard, scream so that my lungs hurt, my throat hurts, my face hurts. I scream into pillows. I walk to the lake scream at the water. Stand in a park and scream into a tree. Doesn’t matter where I am I just need to fucking scream. It makes me feel better. My life is a simple routine."

"Socializing is as exhausting as giving blood. People assume loners are misanthropes, just sitting thinking, ‘Oh, people are a bunch of assholes,’ but it’s really not like that. We just have a smaller tolerance for what it takes to be with others. It means having to perform. I get so tired of communicating."